Rhino Ramblings

(recap and selfcap of a SomeBody Somewhere TV episode)

A Rhino Light Switch cover to illuminate my thoughts

Spoiler alert: Somebody Somewhere is a marvelous (100% on Rotten Tomatoes) quirky show on Max (HBO) that is too little known and will end in this, its third, season.  I encourage everyone to watch every episode. But since I do not want to hold you off too long in reading this blog, I will recommend that you start by skipping right to Season 3 episode 1 before reading further or, if you prefer, after reading further.  I will not hold back on spoilers, so, as they say, you are forewarned.  The good news is that the characters and storylines, while benefiting from a full watch, are such that the basis are easy to follow and comprehend due to the excellent writing.

I watched season 3 episode 1 of Somebody Somewhere several weeks ago.  I knew immediately that I would have to write about it.  And, indeed, the thoughts and feelings invoked have been floating throughout my brain ever since. I also knew I could not watch any further episodes until I wrote as the subsequent episodes will affect the effect of that first episode. Once this is posted I am looking forward to viewing the remaining shows.

Quick summary (see spoiler alert above).  SomeBody SomeWhere is a semi-autobiographical series starring “Bridget Everett as Sam, a woman in her 40s trying to find happiness.” <from the SomeBody SomeWhere Wikipedia entry>. The quirkiness of the characters belies the normalcy of how their lives are portrayed.  In this episode the FtM (Female to Male) trans character Fred begins a new life marrying Susan; while Tricia, Sam’s sister and the empress of a cunt pillow empire (okay so some storylines make more sense if you watch from the start), embarks on a new life as a divorcee entering the dating scene; while the gay characters Joel and Michael move in together. In each of these.  Sam is friend and family to all.  She supports and does not judge motivations even as they drift away from her and towards their new lives (Fred cancels the weekly meet-up to be with his wife and also eat healthier; Tricia cancels a dinner with Sam to go out on a date; Joel is too busy moving in with Michael to meet and chat).  Sam could take each of these as a negative sign about her but instead understands it is about the happiness they all are experiencing in each of their own journeys.  And each person wants only the best for Sam and yet she is left alone. The episode ends with her decision to take the initiative to find companionship in a dog (including major pet store purchases) only to find the dog had just been adopted by someone else.  Ending shot is Sam in her truck crying.

I felt in tune with Sam in this episode.  Sam is the person who both ties people together even while being separated from them.  According to Vulture (an entertainment news website) Sam is driven by fear.  I can understand their point, but I see her driven by aloneness and an other-centric interaction style (which are not in themselves negative or needing fixing as Vulture intimates her fear needs to be fixed).  I see me in that aloneness (and do not see it as fear).  Note that I aloneness not loneliness.  To sidestep to another TV series and an accompanying podcast – in the last season of Star Trek Deep Space Nine Ezri Dax and Dr. Bashir have a moment where they decide whether to interact as friends or follow a romantic partnering. They, of course, choose romance because – you know – TV requires all relationships to be romantic in the end.  The excellent Star Trek podcast “The Greatest Generation” called the writer’s out for not exploring characters who can be connected with others but also be happy with their own-selves and have their aloneness.  Sam is both alone and connected.  I love the many friends and family (sounds like a phone commercial) I have been fortunate to be connected with. But I also enjoy my aloneness.  I write this blog alone- I love my one hour morning dog walks – alone except for Argo.  I enjoy a golf game with friends but also find a reflectivity in a solo game.  This is aloneness and I need and welcome the opportunities to experience it.   It is also true that aloneness can lead to loneliness if either through depression, anxiety, stress or other complications there is a void that feels unfillable. That is when you cry in your car or on your sofa.  To be clear, being un-alone can still result in the depression of loneliness – physical togetherness does not guarantee psychological togetherness and many people fell lonely or depressed in the midst of friends and family.

What I most gravitated to in the episode was that no-one tried to fix Sam.  Which is partly why I did not want to watch the other episodes until I wrote this blog –   I hope they do not have a “healing” episode where she gets her dog, her friends reconstruct their activities together and Sam find true romantic love.  I hope instead, Sam constructs a new life for herself that accounts for the new lives of those around her and welcomes in a new pet and possibly a new relationship (hinted at by  a new character – Víglundur ‘Iceland’ Hjartarson) but does so while still being herself – both the goodness of being a supportive friend and also embracing aloneness and the not so goodness of at times feeling lost and uncertain and to Vulture’s point even a little afraid.  Life, which this series really does a great job enacting (I love that when faced with a situation in which Sam has to pick up a rental check in time to avoid her Mom being kicked out of her nursing home did not devolve into a major conflict between sisters or nursing home drama but was just treated as an action to be and was taken care of.) is messy.  Each of us deals with our own issues – sometimes overtly but more often on our own.  I see Sam dealing with some of the same life issues that I do and she does not ask others to fix life for her as I hope I do not.  Instead, support when needed, understand when required, leave alone when that is desired and listen for when a whisper or a loud proclamation is proffered.

(Side note – at one point in writing this I typed out “a[i9apisdf9pdan” .  Sometimes I get stuck and just a pounding out of the keys will unstick me.  I probably should have kept it in 0- would have kept all of you guessing what language I had devolved to).