Rhino Ramblings

Not the book I am reviewing

Welcome to the first and possibly last “Joanne’s Book Corner” (I never liked book reports in school and that feeling endures except for this month).

As I outlined in excruciating (to you poor readers) detail in And the Winner Is … I select various entertainments based on critics lists from the past year.  For books I end up with around the top 20 books (it was 23 for this year) from 20 sources. Those 22 were on at least 5 lists ( >25 %).  I recently read 3 (well read 2, listened to 1). All 3, coincidentally were female authors.  2 of the3 struck a deep chord with me; and 1 (the audible / listening one) confused and befuddled me (I just did a quick peek on Goodreads and while there are a lot of “how wonderful” reviews, it did not take long to find one that hit some of the same notes I’ll hit here – so at least I am not totally crazy about not being totally crazy about the book).

Let’s start with the audible fiction book – Vladimir by Julia May Jonas (her debut novel). It is about two (sort of – all relationships are sort of in this novel) married older professors.  The husband has been accused by 28 former students of having inappropriate relations (to be blunt one could well argue rape).  The wife is the main character and narrator.  She knew accepted both the unfaithfulness and the abuse of power between a professor and his students.  She paints the women as almost more culpable in abusing the professor/student dynamic.  But wait, there is more.  Besides her previous affair with another married professor, she is now obsessed with a new, young teacher (Vladimir).  We quickly (I mean the dialogue between characters is so open and quick to providing full personal details to people they pretty much just met) learn his wife had recently attempted suicide.  The older professor literally roofies Vladimir, kidnaps him, takes him to her secluded cottage, ropes and chains him, sends a “I do not love you” text from his phone to his wife, destroys the phone and then (just when I thought there has to be negative consequences), Vladimir wakes up, professes his love of her, and they have sex.  Oh and there is, to show how progressive the novel is, the daughter who has had a long term lesbian relationship until she cheated and ran off.  With little to show growth or other reasons for reconciliation, her partner takes her back.  There is more but bottom line is there are no consequences to anyone’s actions other than the retirement of the older professor (with the couple living happily ever after).  I guess if the goal was to shock the reader, I was shocked.  I picked out major issues from my perspective but it was almost like every scene was problematic.  0 out of 5 rhinos for Vladimir.

Let’s move to the positive reviews.  Along with hating book reports growing up, I also exceedingly preferred fiction to non-fiction.  And if there was a biographic element, I ran away.  The use of the critic’s lists has forced me to read a variety of books including non-fictions (I am currently reading a very lengthy tome on Cell Biology) and even biographies, autobiographies and memoirs.  To my surprising pleasure, In Love by Amy Bloom and I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy are both memoirs that get 5 out of 5 rhinos from me.

It takes guts to put out a memoir with a title I I’m Glad My Mom Died.  But the title is very fitting for the story that unfolds. You may recognize the author’s name – Jennette McCurdy was a child actor.  Most notably she was a co-star of the Nickelodeon show iCarly.  But she never wanted to be an actor (and has since stopped acting).  She was forcefully shoved into acting by her Mom who saw her as the way to fame and fortune. The mother was a hoarder – they had to pull mats out at night to sleep on since the only open spaces in the house were the thin walkways.  She insisted on bathing her daughter through her teen years. And then there was the pressure to succeed and stay young looking (i.e. not show signs of puberty and resulting body changes).  This led to anorexia and bulimia.  So why do I give this 5 rhinos – Ms. McCurdy has a voice in her writing that is intriguing.  There is no hatred.  She did not want her Mom to die.  But she needed that to happen to free her to become her ownself.  She is a survivor – there is much more to the story then this brief book report provides.  And, spoiler alert, even as she has been successful in fighting through the eating disorders and other inner demons visited upon her by her childhood experiences, she does not end with a hero’s story or one of total “normalcy”.  She recognizes that her life will always be affected and infected with her past.  She writes in a way that draws you in and, unlike the first book I wrote about, she is not ashamed to admit the consequences and continuous need to not revert to actions that are self-harmful.  I heartily endorse this book.

The third book is equally intense about a difficult subject – in this case Alzheimer’s and mercy killing.  In Love by Amy Bloom takes us on her journey in living and loving and loss as her husband succumbed to Alzheimer’s.  Once the diagnosis was made, he asked that she find a way for him to die before the disease consumed his essential being.  The book shifts between finding the one clinic in the world (in Switzerland) able and willing to assist and various insightful moments of life as the disease emerged and grew.  Like Ms. McCurdy, Ms. Bloom has a voice (not as surprising since she is a well-known author).  She does not ask the reader to agree with the choices made.  She is not looking for forgiveness or even acceptance.  Perhaps understanding best illuminates what this memoir provides.  An understanding of the many choices that need to be made and acted upon both in terms of the progression of Alzheimer’s and also their goal of assisted suicide.  She is not a saint (much like Ms.  McCurdy does not ask us to see her as brave or a hero).  She is human and has to deal with very human situations, actions and relationships.  The mixture of the practical – what to take on the plane when only one of the two people will be returning? – with the personal – questioning why her husband is unable to just “get over it” when she grows frustrated with the effects on daily life. There is heartfelt loss but also an underlying strength that again I have to couple with Ms. McCurdy’s story.   You do not have to agree with Ms. Bloom’s decision to assist her husband in dying, but I dare you to read this book and not understand the realness of her life and story.

Thank you for enduring my book reports.  No profound insights from me this time – the insights come from the authors, especially Ms. Bloom and Ms. McCurdy.  I thank them for sharing their stories in such thoughtful and meaningful ways.