Rhino Ramblings

A Child and Baby Rhino

A Primary Beginning

I would love to say that this is the beginning of my bio.  But that would be far too high a goal.  I am amazed when I read bios, autobios, memoirs, etc. with memories of dates and times and dialogues and interactions sometimes from toddler onward.  I cannot accurately recall memories of dates and times and dialogues and interactions from today much less 60 or more years ago.  Of course there are basic data points.   I was born on Labor Day, Sept. 2, 1957 (66 here I come) in Hazleton, PA, I believe at St. Joseph’s Hospital (since bought out).  PA birth certificates are lacking in details.  I was the fourth, and for 8 years the youngest, child of 2 Slovak parents – Ethel and Joseph.  In the course of 5 years they did the good Catholic deed and so was born my 3 older sisters and then myself.  8 years later, my brother Robert joined us.  I have heard vague rumors as to the reason for the 8 year gap but I will simply state that I seem to recall Robert being a surprise, albeit a happy one for my parents.  I mentioned Slovak parents – that is to set a piece of the scenery that would include living through the depression, growing up in an insular immigrant community (my Dad did not speak English until he went to school, or at least that is the tale I have been told).  At my birth and through the main part of my childhood we would likely have been considered lower middle class – at the time able to own a house and raise 4, and then 5, children, but not booming with money.  On the other hand, with depression and immigrant roots, money was always held tight.  I do not recall ever thinking that we did not have what we needed.  I do recall that the date of my birthday providing an excuse for presents of clothes vs. toys with the explanation that I needed school clothes with school starting within a week. (I also never got to have a school birthday party – at the time the first day of school was the Weds. after Labor Day.  Do the math – closest I got was a birthday the day before school started.  This is the sad sad facts of my life – I guess not really all that sad now that I think about it).  

I want to be very clear – while I will mention issues in my life, my life was likely close to a normal White, Catholic, multi-sibling, private education (Catholic of course) upbringing.  I raise points of interest only to illuminate points of interest; not to complain or seek sympathy.  I will also be leaving a lot out – mainly because (see opening sentences above) I have no faith in my memoires and so I want to avoid fictionalizing my life or those of my family. 

My parents were conservative or to be more blunt, at least for my father, he was racist, bigoted, anti-welfare, and in general would likely find DeSantis to be hero to be followed.   He was also exceedingly intelligent, hard-working and successful.   One story I remember is that when he went to school (remember earlier I mentioned he did not speak English) he was told he was going to be skipped two grades (he managed to avoid that abrupt transition) I know less about my mother’s views as she, in my eyes at least, was subsumed by my father in that regard.  She was also very intelligent and frugal (coupon happy; in her later years when money was no longer an issue, she set up her local basement grocery to sell to her children at the discounted prices she paid).  She did show a streak of independence late in her life when she had a career in retail.  My 3 sisters and brother all inherited the intelligence of our parents but somehow the conservative values, for the most part, never stuck completely to any of us.  And as far as I can tell, all subsequent grandchildren are of the more liberal bent (some positiveness in the world).

From these tidbits, I will expand out with various stories and thoughts on my early life.  So stay tuned for more exciting “Life of Joanne”

In the meantime, I recognize that I lured a few readers to this blog with the promise of LGBTQ+ discussions and so far my bio is light on that subject.  Let me take this opportunity then to digress a tad. I want to first remind folks that I transitioned in the 1990’s and so my points of reference date mostly to that time period.  Usage and terms may have changed but I assume the basics remain the same.  Since this blog starts with my birth, let’s consider the terminology “primary” vs. “secondary” transsexual.  Based on a brief Google search the terms are still out there, although it looks like, thankfully, there is more pushback on their usage.  Essentially a primary transsexual knows fully and completely from their earliest memory that their gender was not what was assigned.  A secondary transsexual did not have distinct gender affirming issues until later in life.  There were some in the medical field in the 90s who felt transition and surgery should only be reserved for clear primary transsexuals.  I would have failed that test as I cannot state categorically that my issues early in my life were due to gender identification.  But, then again, in the 60’s this was not a topic that would even be in my vocabulary to describe.  I will note that one of my earliest realization of any form of gender identity issues was a book about kids stating that if you were on a swing and wrapped yourself fully around the bar (a 360 degree swing) you would change genders.  Boy (or girl) that seemed like a wonderful idea to me at the time. I do not recall my age, but since it was clearly an elementary school type story, I assume it dates to my pre-teen years.  Bottom line, labels can be useful, but they can also be (well let’s just say almost always) generalized and used to produce an arbitrary line in the sand.  This topic of terminology and lines in the sand will be explored many times – whenever I do, bear in mind I do so for illustrative purposes and the application of any term or line must be able to vary with the experiences and reality of each individual.  So I do not know if I am secondary, but I do know my life was defined by who and what I am and the experiences of my life. 

I hope that those who are reading this blog will learn interesting facts and ideas about me but also provide an opportunity for all of us to continuously examine who we were, who we are, and who we hope to be.  As always, thank you for indulging me by reading this blog.  Please feel free to circulate the link to everyone and every group that you feel might find enjoyment.  This is a fully public blog.