Rhino Ramblings

Friends (not the TV show – which, along with several other long-running popular shows like Grey’s Anatomy and The Big Bang Theory, I have never watched a full episode).  In fact I feel almost as inadequate writing about friends in the social sense as writing about the TV show.  For most of my life, my friendships were sparse and often flared out for reasons to be explored in the future, I am sure.  I have managed to maintain a friendship to my Rhinoceros colleague Mark (see my previous blog – Why the Rhinos) and over 25 year with my best friend and former neighbor, Sonia.  In more recent years, I have been fortunate to have a wonderful full set of friends that have broken through all of my self-built walls.  The theme of this blog originated with a recent e-mail exchange with one of those friends that included this snippet of wisdom (?): “Friendships are based on understanding where each are coming from and being where you can be, when and how you can be – not based on a specific dinner plan”. I do recognize that there are a number of folks who have friendships that are built on continuous interactions whether constant DMs, daily long calls, or weekly and sometimes daily in-person interactions (ignoring the last two years for the in-person interactions).  This intensity may be common but sit on the shelf with the Friends TV show – unknown and inscrutable to me.  There is another way friendships can exist with less constant interactions and still be as deep and meaningful.   Or maybe I am just justifying my own shortcomings as a friend.  I am going to assume the former.  It is easy and very human to take personal umbrage at a missed dinner plan or a lengthy communication gap or a misunderstanding, misjudgment or misplaced expectations of oneself and one’s friends.  When these mis’s occur, what pulls the friendship through to re’s: reconnection, reaffirmation and/or re-understanding, is refocusing on the real basis of the friendship.  For me that basis is respect for where each friend’s journey has come from and taken them; a trust that I can (and have) call on them when I hit a rock-bottom depression state; a belief in myself that I can be there for them when they are at a loss and need a supporting ear or a supporting presence.  That missed text or inability to follow through on a promised dinner are meaningless in comparison.  So I guess maybe I have more thoughts on friends, the people, compared to Friends, the show, and hopefully with more depth of meaning than the show.

Postscript: Thanks to the US Men’s Soccer team for building up a 5-0 lead against Panama in World Cup Qualifying so I could finish this blog.